| This fucking sucks.... |
[Jan. 4th, 2004|02:07 am] |
Okay...it doesn't just suck, it fucking sucks.
I miss her. I've gone through the whole day, making no contact with her. Made it all the way home, until now. When I got home, there was an away message, from her, about Jared reading my live journal.
Well, let's handle the actual important stuff. I love her and miss her. Every breath I take, she's in my heart and on my mind. There isn't a moment I don't want her. I feel in my heart I will fail her. That I won't be able to take the 30 days.
Well, I'm about to break down and call her. I posted to her live journal. I might as well have given up and just stopped by her house. I want to say that this day has proven that we really love and need each other. Well, here goes. Either something brave or something stupid. Wake up Cheryl...I'm calling. |
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| The Calm before the storm... |
[Jan. 3rd, 2004|10:29 am] |
Well, I know I said I wasn't going to make any posts for a while. But, I have a new reason to keep the thoughts going. My New Year's ruled, and New Year's Day was probably the best day of my life. In a sense, it affirmed a lot of what I was feeling and thinking. All me to explain.....
After Cheryl and I broke up, I made my last post for a while. Adrian, a good friend of mine, invited me to a New Year's Eve party up in Atlanta. I went, after making a few phone calls and trying to secure my future. I'll get to the future security later. This next stuff is the good shit.
For the last week, Cheryl and I have stayed in contact. I told her about the party, she said she'd worry about me. I told her not to, to have a good time at hers. She didn't sound too enthused. I almost kidnapped her. Even told her I was thinking of just showing up and telling her to come to my party instead. But, after some thinking, I decided I couldn't do it. I'd be totally pissed if it happened to me. So, there was no kidnapping. But there was no dening she wasn't happy with Jared. It was in her voice. So, I let it go, thinking that given a couple of days, they'd be fine and I need to move on.
Okay, party time. I followed Adrian up to the house in Atlanta. This place was built for parties. As soon as I entered the basement, it was a bar. And I mean, an actual built in bar. They even had an arcade game in the corner, and a dart board on the wall. We got something to eat, then kicked it into high gear. lots of drinking and mixing. Met some really awesome folks, and hope to hang out with them again. I woke up the next morning thinking that a horde of angry dwarves were going to town on my head. Took a LONG time to feel normal again.
back to Cheryl. Always back to Cheryl, actually. I had thought about her most of the night, and she keapt popping into my head during New year's Day. When I finally left Atlanta, I keapt thinking I should swing by her house. I decided not to, because I was so damn exhausted I needed to lay down. When I got home, I signed on to see if I had any away messages or new emails. She was online. We spoke for a little bit. Then, something happened...
I had a moment of clarity. I need to be at her side right then. So, I told her as much. I told her that I was coming over, and we would spend time together. I ate dinner, showered and headed down. I was filled with a new energy. When i saw her, I knew I had made the right decision. Truth be told, there was never a question. We fell into each other's arms, and the world was right again. We spent most of that night together, just holding and being in each other's company.
The next day, I called her up and told her not to make plans. My place was known to me, and it was at her side. No questions, no doubts. I felt, knew and saw it as reality. We talked, and came to an agreement. We would spend one last night together, and then cut all ties for 30 days. I took her to see Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. We had a wonderful time. I think she knows beyond a doubt where her heart is. I told her I love you, Cheryl. She told me she loved me. So many, many times.
I dropped her off at her place, so she could go to jared and tell him she needed a month alone to find her peace.
So, here we are. Cheryl and I will not talk to each other until February 2nd. In any way, shape or form. I will carry her words in my heart, and give her the time she needs. I will be strong for us both, and hope that when the day comes, we will find our way back to each other.
i love Cheryl. With all of my heart. And I always will. One day, I believe we will delcare our love to each other in the form of marriage. Until that day, may she walk knowing I'll be there. I'll be watching on her livejournal, and loving her with every breath I take. |
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| Last post for a while.. |
[Dec. 28th, 2003|05:27 pm] |
Well, it happened again. She left, because he's still on her mind.
I've got some things ready for tomorrow. I have an interview, and a possible job in the next few days. I'll need to get some additional info for them, but that's cool. Still pushing for the fireman job, but who knows.
I guess I should have seen it coming. Truth be told, I did. And now it's over.
She wants me, she knows where to find me. I'm heading out with the boys to have some fun. I'll see around. |
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| It's Christmas yo!!!!!!!! Continued.. |
[Dec. 25th, 2003|09:56 pm] |
Another Christmas come and gone.
Was pretty sweet, made out like a bandit as far as clothing goes. Even got a bunch of movie tickets. Good time had by all.
Went over to Cheryl's and tried her dessert dish. All I can say is..... DAMN!!!!. The whole of it was delicious, and when I finally tasted chocolate... there aren't words to describe, save for the doopey look on my face.
Hung with Adrian and meet Phil. Had a few beers, then split. So, home and ready for bed. I'm so damn tired I can barely finish the journal. Lord knows I'll be up for at least another hour. Futurama and Family Guy are coming on. Later ya'll! |
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| It's Christmas yo!!!!!!!! |
[Dec. 25th, 2003|12:21 pm] |
That's right, folks. It's time to party had in celebration of presents, family and all the good will a person can muster. Time for all ill will to piss off and let the good times roll.
I love this holiday. It rocks. It rules the free world.
Sent out all the yahoo messages and phone calls I can think of. Spent a good portion of the morning at my borther's house, hanging with the in-laws fron his marriage. The whole fam was there. Pretty sweet.
Kristin makes some killer breakfast food. I must have stuffed my face with more pigs in a blanket than one man should.
But it's all good. Soon, we'll be eating and unwrapping gifts. I'll be chillin with the fam, and for once we won't be at each other's throats. It's a kick ass feeling. Hence, the reason I dig it so much.
Mad props to my baby. She's trying a new recipe (or however that's spelled) for Christmas dinner. I called her this morning and wished her a merry christmas and good luck. Fingers crossed honey. I love you.
Well, with family coming over and whatnot, we have the whole place ready. No music, but a movie is on. And a traditional christmas movie? hell no. Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers.
Well, off to party with my family. We're done cleaning the house (yet again).
Go Nate-dog, it's Jesus' birthday! Do my insane craker super white-boy happy christmas dance!!!!
Merry Christmas everyone. May the preceeding words put a smile on your face. Lord knows I got one writing them. |
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| Killing time. |
[Dec. 23rd, 2003|12:37 pm] |
Well, all things considered, it's been an informative day.
Not really. Just couldn't think of a better way to start things off. What can I say, the creativity's wanning. Actually, it's not here at all. At least, not as far as the lj is concerned.
I'll be spending time with my brother tonight. Get some family bonding in before Christmas. All the shopping is done, and the only thing left is to wrap.
I guess I'm making a post to tell Cheryl that I am giving her the space she needs, and I finally get that I can't help directly with what's going on. She has to do it. I just want her to know I'll be here for her, always, and that no matter what I love her with all of my heart. I remember my promise, and I will keep it.
I know this doesn't mean we're over. I know it means she needs time and space. All of the conclusions one would jump to are gone. I know she loves me. And I know we're still boyfriend and girlfriend throughout this, but I need to respect her wishes.
So, Cheryl, my love. I am here for you, always, and will come to you when you call. I'm easy to find. May these words brighten your day a little.
See, the old dog can learn new tricks.
P.S. - You're going to have to fill me in, I missed GH at 10 last night. |
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| Same old same old |
[Dec. 22nd, 2003|11:38 am] |
Well, same shit different day.
Babysitting my brother's kids. Have to make a stop at the fire station and drop off some paperwork. Then, bowling tonight. At some point, I think I'm going to start demanding pay for all the shit I do.
Foul mood. In case you couldn't tell. And the writing isn't going to pull me out of this one. We'll see what the day brings. Right now, it's all downhill and I'm pushing it back up. Hurts the abck, but it's a way of life I'm used to. Dont liek it, but its there.
Needed some help yesterday. Didn't get it. She's in a mood, and it may last a while. She tells me not to freak. Hell, I normally wouldn't. Except last time she got in this mood, she broke off the engagement. I know I need to ride this out, and everything will be fine. Worrying isn't going to help, so I won't. She'll call me when she wants to, and I'll see her then. If I can't give her some space, I'm no good to her anyway.
Going to head to Charlie's house when I'm done here. He hasn't answered his phone in over a week, and I'm starting to worry. Now his cell-phone doesn't even accept calls.
Dealt with an old ghost yesterday. Haven't spoken with him in a while. We caught up some, and talked about old times. Wasn't a plesant experience, and one he knows we won't be repeating. At least, not in this lifetime. For as much as I want to say I know what the future holds, you never truely know what tomorrow brings. Til then, I guess I need to get out of the driver seat. At least, where Cheryl and my old "friends" are concerned.
She'll call me when she wants to see me, and I'll deal with the vermin as they stop by.
Merry fucking Christmas |
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| Just one of those things.. |
[Dec. 21st, 2003|03:22 am] |
Well, it's been more than a week since an actual post. So, here goes...
Monday, Cheryl and I got back together. She decided that she wants to be with me, and not Jared. It makes my heart race to think of us, to think of her.
Later that night, she told him.
So, it's been us for a week almost. It's a great feeling, being there with her. Friday night we hung Christmas decorations up at her place. We spent most of that night in her room, her fast asleep in my arms.
I can feel life in my viens again. These past few weeks have been so trying for us both. Me, trying to get a job. her, losing her grandmother and having to choose between Jared or me. Thankfully, some of this has passed. Now, we have time to work on us.
I told my friends that the gaming would have to take a back seat for a bit. I feel it's important Cheryl and I get to see each other. It's majorly important I get a job soon. With some funding, we can get back to our life again.
To be honest, when i first started writting, I was mad. But, as per the usual, once I got going the only thing I can think of is Cheryl. Of how she makes me happy, of the light in her eyes. Of the way her face shines when we see each other. It's like I can't stay mad. She's always on my mind, reminding me of the good there is.
It's something that always troubled me. I had always held the quiet hope that someone would be able to see the good through all the bad.
I feel like I have found that person. When Cheryl looks at me, I don't feel eyes judging me. I don't see eyes clouded with doubt or confusion. I see a woman in love with me. I see everything I can be, and want to be. I see a future, something I can say I've never truely seen before.
I had thought I had found love a time or two before. But in the end, it always bore itself to be false. I can't say that the fear of things not working isn't there. But it's a fear I'll gladly face, knowing she's at my side.
Well, I've babbled on long enough. Seems I can't say much without talking about her. She's that important to me.
I love you Cheryl. |
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| Swiped continued... |
[Dec. 21st, 2003|01:24 am] |
She told me too, so here it is..
1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I loveable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and where did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll ever get married or divorced?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. What is my best quality?
13. How well do you think you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think that I could kill someone?
17. Who would play me in a movie?
18. If I were to be a color, what one would I be?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
21. Do you think that I am stubborn?
22. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you? |
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| Sudden changes |
[Dec. 9th, 2003|11:00 am] |
THe last two days have been a continuation, it seems, of the weekend's events. Cheryl's grandmother, whom she cared for personally for so long, has passed on. Our Sunday night was to be at her mother's church recital. Her mother wasn't there. So, we went to Hospice, and she was there with the grandmother.
We stayed for as long as we could. But around 1ish, sleep demanded I pay it heed, and Cheryl was exhausted as well. We went to her place and slept. She was awakened around three, and told of her grandmother's passing. She left to bring her mother home.
While at Hospice, I decided it was time to mend a fence. I took a few moments, found the chapel and fell to my knees. It had been a long time since I had spoken to God. It may be longer still. But at that moment, we had something to discuss. I asked for strength.
I knew there was nothing I could do to change what was to come. I only asked that he give me the strength to be the man that Cheryl needs me to be. To not get consumed by the pitiness of others, nor distracted by my own wants. To simply be, and be there when she needs me.
Later on, she asked me where I went. I told her everything. I felt like she should know. She told me that I already was the man she needed. That I was already doing that. I smiled. Told her that a little extra help never hurt.
So, here I am on Tuesday, trying to move forward employment wise. Need to call the folks I applied to and bug them. Only way to get employed int his town is to beat doors down.
Anyway, I'm out. Got things to do and little time to do them in. |
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| Home to heal |
[Dec. 7th, 2003|01:01 pm] |
A very interesting weekend. Interesting indeed.
Yesterday, I went on a hiking trip with my father. He takes the teenagers he teaches JROTC to on a trip to Pine Mountain. We left early in the morning, as usual. Met up with the other chaperons (however that's spelled) and went to the strating point. The beginning went as it always does. Hike for a while, then the kids set up their tents and get ready for their orienteering challenge. Unlike before, though, I chose to go home and help my mom prepare to cook for the kids. I did this, because I missed Cheryl terribly, and had to hear her voice.
Mom and I returned and got everything ready. She began cooking on time, and we waited. The kids hadn't shown up yet. So, we waited some more. Still, no group. Finally, my dad drove up to where the cooking pavillion was. He told us the reason the kids hadn't come yet. One of the was lost.
To give you an idea of how bad this was, he told us this around 6ish in the evening. It was already cold enough to be wearing jackets. THe kid in question had on little more than a pullover and had been missing for two hours. He was lost, somewhere int he woods, probably cold and scared. Most would be.
So, I took off with dad back to the camp site. Spoke to some of the other adults there, and the Georgia State Patrol was there as well. Wonderful. His parents had been called, and they would be heading up. I took the oppurtunity while they were deciding what to do to eat, get some energy in me. I knew we'd be making a search party and walking the trails. The sun had already gone down, and the wind was picking up. The temp was dropping. And for all we knew, he had nothing else to keep him warm. After speaking to his group, we were able to determine where he left them. Apparently, while they were trying to decide which way to go back to camp, he decided to just go on without them. First time int he woods, and he cuts off on his own. Remember this, cuz it's important for later.
We finally get going, and after walking the trails for a good two hours, we find him. He was sitting at a campsite off a horse trail in front of a fire he made. Good for him. The fire was small, so he was still very cold. I gave up my duster to warm him up. Nothing says heat like a duster that's been worn for a good two hours of humping it through the woods.
Turns out, he had taken a wrong turn, as we figured. To top it off, as he ahd wandered so far away, he got tired and decided to take a little nap. So, he slept through us screaming our brains out calling his name. Then, wakes up and says,"My, it's a little chilly. I think I'll make a fire.". He was cold, but very calm, as though this happens all the time. Maybe it does.
The first thing I told him was my name, and that we were going to get him to safty. The first thing in my mind was, "Your village called, their idiots missing.".
One of the others explained the exact ramifications of his actions, and it hit him pretty hard. At least he took responsibility for his actions. I believe the phrase went, "there's two phases. The rejoicing phase, cuz we found you and your fine. Then, there's the ass chewing phase, for making us worry and putting several jobs in danger.". They never think of these things when they act. Kind of like adults sometimes.
Long story short, he went home with his mom, and I slept outside. Kept getting woken up, so I just relit the fire and stayed up. Turns out, that probably saved my rear. The temp dropped below freezing, and the sleeping bag wasn't proecting me. Fire glorious fire.
And here we are today. The kids have gone home, and I'm home. Every part of my back hurts, my legs are on fire and I'm tired. And all I want is to hear Cheryl's voice, and see her face. To hold her and kiss her. She's the reason I breath, and she kept me sane last night. I wonder if she'll ever know what affect she's had on me. I can only hope she sticks around long enough to find out. Like, the rest of our lives sounds good. |
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| The Fireman |
[Dec. 3rd, 2003|10:26 am] |
Well, I've finally found something I want to apply for, so I'm headed into town for it. There are opennings at the local fire department. I'm going down now to see if they'll hire me.
I've got a good amount of medical experience, though it hasn't been used in a while. One of the jobs open is for a fireman/emt. I'll be asking about that one as well. Even if I don't qualify for that up front, I'll be taking the training for it as soon as possible. It'll feel good to make a difference again. It feels like a fulfilling ideal. Let's hope I make it.
By the by, I have to give credit where credit is due. I was turned onto the idea by Cheryl. I had actually been thinking about it, and she pointed me to the website that had all the info I needed. I do so love that woman.
May our hearts be one again...
I love you Cheryl. |
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| YO!! |
[Nov. 29th, 2003|10:43 pm] |
Howdy everyone in livejournal land. Or at least, the few people who take the time to read these.
Writing on a weird note this evening. Listening to music, letting it pour through. It's a great feeling. Wonderful stress relief. It's the silence that kills, after all.
Silence is the worst part of waiting for something, I think. The anticiaption isn't bad, it's kind of a rush. But when you're waiting for something, anything, and there's that calm... that's damn unnerving.
So, to heck with the silence. Working on the details for making my list of 25 come to life. A little something I put together, the 25 things that I want more than anything. Some will take time, some will take patience. Some aren't possible, and some require the presence of a certain woman. The woman. I'm speaking, of course, of Cheryl.
I know, I'm a mushy bastard and should stop boring everyone with my details, but I can't help it. Earth and sky meet in her eyes, and there's nothing more beautiful than those eyes.
Got a lot of work to do. The biggest one I'm looking at is openning my own store. Got a tip I should go to Columbus Tech and take a business class from them. I'll consider it, seeing as how it's from my (possibly) future book-keeper. Spoek to my business partner, and we'll be going over the finer details later. We know our target audience on a first name basis. If we get it up and running, we'll rule the free world.
In the meantime, I turned down the security job. It wasn't going to help. Toting around a firearm only seem to make others worry, and Cheryl worried for my safty. So, guns aside, I'll find a different outlet. Truth is, firearms never really turned me on, having been on both sides of the barrel.
Read an old post Cheryl put on her livejournal. Hurt like a son of a b.. you get the idea. But, I read everything after it. It passed. Speaking of things to pass, I got a new computer. Of course, there's little to no room in my room, so it's time for some pfm. My specialty, actually.
Well, going to listen to the music and goof off. Later folks. You keep reading, we'll keep writing. |
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| After turkey shopping... |
[Nov. 29th, 2003|12:20 pm] |
Went shopping with Cheryl yesterday for formal wear. She needs a dress for her brother's wedding. Man, the day after thanksgiving is insane out there. Managed to find out some info for her, and she may end up with this really sweet dress she wanted. Hope it works out, she'll find out Tuesday.
Not doing much right now. Bummin around in my pjs. Clean the room, pick up a new computer. Kinda basic stuff. Need to get two birthday gifts soon. My dad's is coming up, and Cheryl's is shortly after. And then... Christmas shopping. Whoo hoo!
Well, nothing much else to say. Catch ya later. |
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| To be a man |
[Nov. 26th, 2003|05:33 pm] |
I used to believe I knew what that was. But now I find myself troubled with childish things. Foolish questions that need not be answered. Truth be told, they're none of my business anyway. I lost perspective. I let my anger get to me. The pain of being without pushed hard enough, and the wall came down. At least, for a few moments. I couldn't see anything but the pain, and it's not too distant cousin, anger.
It's been 4 days since the breakup, and I am doing as I said I would. Keep breathing, keep moving. Work on projects long overdue. Apply for more jobs, even though one waits for me this Saturday. Live in the moment. Take each day a step at a time. Wait. Patience is the key, and it's a virtue I've had quite a few lessons in.
Pity you don't always remember those lessons. My mind lept forward, demanding to know the answer to two simple questions. At least, someone else's version. Not my business. If he's got an answer to those two, then he's learned a thing or two. Always a good thing, knowing respect and character. But, in the questioning of someone else's, you must make sure not to sacrifice your own. I was told once, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I know of no such person on this world, walking it. Faith or no, sin is with us. It's just a fact. Welcome to Earth, third rock from the sun.
Okay, enough with the poetic nonsense. The reason I'm writing... to get past the pain. To get past the anger. It's amazing how therapeutic this damn thing is. The more I type, the less I feel. Guess I'll keep typing. Thanks for the therapy, Cheryl. It's working wonders. :-)
I got angry today. I got angry, specifically, with the memory of it all. This actually goes further back, long before the situation that drove me to start this journal even came to be. It happened a long time ago, with a piss poor decision made. Without direction or motivation, needing guidance and knowing I would not find peace here, I enlisted into the Armed Services. I planned to follow in the footsteps of my family; believing that I, like they, can acheive greatness through service. How foolish was I. It was not my world, at least not one I would remain happy with for long. I served, proudly at first. In the end, I left to pursue the civilian life, still needing some sense of direction.
That too, lasted only so long. I would spend the months following my time in working at a bowling alley first, then the Staples Corporate Center in Framingham next. I went from living with a friend's family to living with a family of friends. Little did I realize, you really should know thy neighbor before you shack up with them. So, I eventually moved out of that.
Broken and battered, I came to live with the best friend I shall have in this life. Ralph Cook Jr, and his wife Diane, took me in. Through their help, I was able to recover much of my lost sense of self. But it was a long and lonely road. I had a girlfriend, near the end. Amy. Someone that cared for me, but I couldn't communicate with. We had a relationship. It ended the day I left Massachusetts to come home.
Now, we skip ahead a few years, and come to this point. I was comended for my understanding by Cheryl. She's in a terrible, terrible place. I know, because I've been there. When I was there, I made the wrong decision. I used to think that. I don't anymore. Had I not walked the road I did, I never would have known the feel of her in my arms, nor felt the love she feels for me. I would have gone through life thinking I knew what happiness was, without ever really experiencing it.
I'm tired of writing how empty it feels. I'm through with that. I hope she comes to me, in the end. How can I not? These days have been a mixture of hope and darkness. With every moment we spend together, I feel we're coming back to each other. But every day is new, and scary. These first few days are going to be that way. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the next month was this way. I wish it was over. Behind the man that stands before her and assures her everything's going to be fine, is someone who wants to believe that himself.
She gives me hope, she tells me she loves me. Is she trying to say she just needs time? I want to think so. I'm beyond impressed with Cheryl. Everyday, she amazes me even more. She knew someday, she would have to choose between Jared or me. She knows she has to do this alone. She admitts to herself, and others, of the difficulty of what lies ahead. And through it all, she presses forward, hoping to get through the darkness. My love for her grows, even in my weak moments of doubt.
I want to write more, but I'm exhausted. My mind hurts so much from what could happen. A portion of me wants it to end. Truth is, I know she does too. I don't know what to say anymore. And, I honestly find no comfort in this. |
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| Heart's War |
[Nov. 25th, 2003|11:58 am] |
Her heart is at war.
At least, that's the way it seems. The good news, she seems to have a goal. Bad news, she's never faught this war before.
Crossroads. The point where we make our choices. She's there.
Here's the part that sucks. Me, mister take care of everyone, has to watch and wait. So, that's what I'm going to do. Man, this sucks. But, it's for the best. I'll post more later. A lot's gone on in the past 48 hours. I'm still sorting through some of it. I'll let you know how it turns out. Later. |
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| Where to turn.... |
[Nov. 23rd, 2003|12:11 am] |
Okay, here goes....
This is my first time every writing a livejournal. I'm taking it as advice from someone special. She thinks I need, or at least should, have one. So, I'll give it my best.
Truth is, the person that gave me the idea is the one I'm writing about. Big surprise there. There's way too much to try to catch up on, so I'll just go with how I'm feeling now.
Hurt. Plain and simple. Lost as well. For a few brief moments, everything in my life added up. The first time since I've drawn breath I've felt truely complete. Now, that's not the case. I feel lost, empty and in pain.
I went from alone, pining for someone, to being with them. Then offically dating them, and having the time of my life. I asked her to marry me. She said yes. What could be better?
Well, apparently, my worst fear became my reality. The ex still held her heart. Truth is, we rushed just about everything. She never really had time to move on or let the whole thing sink in. So, she told me. Good thing, really. It wasn't fair to either of us. So here I sit, the fool in love with the fool, who's still in love with someone else.
When we split, she said she needed time to get over everything. She didn't want me to be a stranger. She didn't want to break it off, but couldn't in good conscience be someone's wife while she loved another. She said she needed to be single for a little while. My heart tells me we'll be together again. That, in time, she'll call me and tell me she's ready.
It's a bitch, doing the right thing. When we split, I came over to her house and took the engagement ring. We held each other for a while, then I said I should go. I made it all the way out the door, to my truck, even got home. I didn't make five steps. My knees buckled, and i cried. I shook for hours, my whole body screaming out. My heart ached so bad, I could feel the pain through every limb.
Which brings me here. It's been a whole day since we broke up. I finally felt something other than pain. It didn't last. But it was soothing. for a little while. I hope she comes back. So help me God, I can feel no other hope. If she's lost to me, I have nothing. But, in the event she reads this and wonders how I'm doing, I'll refer back to October 11th. The only time Cheryl ever saw me cry. And like the song says.....
I breathe in, and breathe out.
Put one foot in front of the other.
take one day at a time,
Until you find,
I'm that someone you can't live without.
But until then,
I'll breathe in,
and breathe out...
Thank you Chris Cagle. |
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